Thursday, January 17, 2008
when someone judges me unjustly, the world to me, comes to a complete stop. i feel like i cannot breathe. i feel the insanity of it all when the thoughts in my mind swirl like a hurricane, almost never-ending like. i look at the person and the person no longer feels like a person to me. its as if there's a huge piece of meat there and i just want to take a big chopping knife and smash it till its totally flat. the violent thoughts almost consume me fully and i feel the whole world's spinning in front of me. have you ever had that feeling when you are standing still and then everything around you moves. it turns and turns and you cant seem to walk anywhere because everything's spinning so far that its terrifying to even try to move.and then it was bossy. i think whoever called me that has no right to say that of me. lets put things this way. if you'd take more initiative, i wouldn't have to ask and tell you to do things. then you wouldn't think me as bossy. i do like guys who can dance. i do like them. i think them as refined creatures. and i do like to cook too. i would love to cook for the person i love with all my heart and soul. its just a pity you don't seem to know anything about me. and you leave me with one judgement too many. i am pained and hurt. because you're someone whom i feel is an important person to me. but then again, who am i to you; that you get to hurt with words time again. maybe just someone whom you feels treats you like shit? you look down upon dancing, you'd rather learn a sport. but don't you feel like you're living in your own small world? you don't even want to try. then you can never feel the fairytale dancing brings you to. everyone can dance. its a matter of whether they have the courage to or not.im seeking comfort, love and someone to give me the security i need when i cry. im thirsting for all that. just someone, come flood me with them all.p/s. i know yu'd do it if i allowed yu to. i know what yu'd do if i allowed yu to. i know yu know me inside out, outside in. i know yu're special. whisk me away to the dance floor and lead me on to one more dance. because yu know its right there and then when the magic begins and fades. yu don't read me. yu feel me. yu know me like no one else does. but after everything.. chances stop at one. i'd have begged yu not to go a long time ago. but now, yu should go. and be happy by yurself. i know yu can do it. and remember i'll still be here to share in yur happiness. but right now, if it makes it all come to an end, i'm still longing for that same comfort, yur comfort.
- everything's just temporary;
10:10 PM
